A discourse on intercourse
by Vanessa Redux
Hello you tramps, floozies, studs, prudes, and those who are perhaps just plain confused. Seeing as I will be your resident salacious soothsayer this year, I believe we need a proper introduction. I am a fourth-year journalism student here at
Illustration by Courtenay Davidson
our illustrious institution of higher learning. I was born the same year as MTV, which places me almost squarely between Gen X andGenY.Iamabonafide bastard, and my mother is a living monument to heroes the world over. I have one sibling, a younger brother, who is quite the opposite to me. That is: quiet and always observing. When he does say something it’s almost guaranteed to be sage.
That being said, I am a tidbit of a rant artist, and it may also be said that some of the articles you read from here on in may be somewhat of an exercise in egotistic futility. I will not, however, be discussing my own sex life, which is partially due to a current lack thereof, as well as the fact that sex and its associated topics on this unreasonable rock are far more interesting. I am known to be rather cynical but I will attempt to tone it down, as it would be too easy to write about coitus and all of its ins and outs (heh) in a dismissive manner.
My training as a journalist has given me sensibilities that revolve around doing the research and reporting the facts, but this doesn’t mean that you won’t be audience to some of the dirty bits too. So I’ve been thinking over the summer months about what it is that people may like to read about concerning the subject of the beast with two backs.
Here are a few of the topics you may, perhaps, look forward to. Japanese sex robots; herpes; rubber vaginas: is it really like the real thing?; will a sex tape make you famous?; the perverted habits of communists; the unknowable insights into the opposite sex; sexual dorm etiquette: how loud is too loud?; friction fiction: best and worst lubes; size: women sign off on that proverbial motion in the ocean; internet trends; sex in the city: a history of the oldest profession; wild sex: how is it done in the animal kingdom?; pornographic addiction; sex roulette: avoiding cyber STIs; best and worst places to do the deed; female circumcision, booze and sex: how much is too much (of either or both); internet dating: who do you think you’re talking to?
Sex will always be one of the most subversive and yet unifying topics within the human discourse; it affects every person regardless of creed, gender, ideals, morals, or philosophy. It will no doubt be a large part of every student’s university experience, as is often the convention. Although I’m not sure what qualifications one should have to be a university sex columnist, what I do have to offer is the benefit of experience and a very open mind. Check the ‘Flec twice a month and I will see if I can’t surprise, excite, and disgust most of you. Until next time, do take it sleazy.
