D-O-Double-G double sucks
By Kevin Rushworth
Apparently Snoop Dog is now a Snoop bitch. Photo courtesy of Amazon.com
The big Snoopy D-O-double G himself—other wise known as Snoop Dogg—has taught me four lessons through his bangin’ tunes; first off, the self titled father of rap taught me to lay low when things get heated.
Secondly, the Doggfather’s lesson-through-song taught me what you do if you touch something a little too spicy for our fleshy human hands; you drop it like its hot. Third, how to enter a party just a swinging my hair. Lastly, that Santa Claus goes straight to the ghetto on Christmas Eve.
As seen by my almost ridiculous use of Snoop Dogg lyrics as puns, I have been a fan of the Dogg for quite some time.
Such songs as Next Episode, Fuck You, Doggfather, Bitch Please and many others are on my top list to play at a club banger of a party. Recently, the Dogg released Malice n’ Wonderland, with such classics as Gangsta Luv and I Wanna Rock.
As stated plainly in Snoops’ first verse in Lay Low, it’s the “return of the top dogg and aint’ no stopping this.” Wait just a second Snoop, you just released Doggumentary and many of the songs—not all of them—were disappointing.
The first track on Snoop Dogg’s 11th studio album is the strange track Toyz N’ Da Hood featuring a strange clash of beats. Snoop must have been taking a bathroom break, as he doesn’t even appear on the track.
When I bang one of those old-school Snoop YouTube videos, I snap my fingers and send a shout out to the father of rap. Gladly, The Way Life Used to Be has some truly gangsta verses that are only understood when bouncing down the street in a car outfitted with hydraulics.
Although the beat for My Fucking House is tight and Snoop and company—Young Jeezy and E-40—go hard, yelling who lives in the house—Snoop’s pleasant abode—loudly is as repetitive as hip-hop haters saying the music is a bad influence on children.
For the track Peer Pressure, I’m hearing the old Doggfather back at work; my fists are pumping the air and my head is bobbing. Thanks Snoop for letting me ride with you on this beat.
While the song Boom doesn’t really impart many societal lessons upon youngsters, it’s a classic beat and catchy radio collaboration with T-Pain. With guns and girls to spare—Snoop calls his gat Problem Solver—Gangbang Rookie is easily my favourite track on the album for smooth vocals and a hard-hitting style.
For the royal wedding, Snoop Dogg wrote the loving couple a little ditty he called Wet. The track features scantily clad girls in a pool, but it’s a different kind of wet he’s talking about—you get what I mean.
On Lopez Tonight, Snoop said, “I wanted him (William) to have a little bit of fun before he got married, see all the girls you won’t be able to see, before you lock down with that one, and enjoy yourself.”
With sex noises and Snoop Dogg autotuned and a constant dripping sound, it gives me the queasies. Not to say I’m some kind of prude, but Snoop keep this in your fantasies.
From the washed up debacle of autotuned Snoop Dogg comes a collaboration with Willie Nelson on Superman. It’s strange, different, but kind of enjoyable.
Doggumentary features some OK tracks, but the shivers from Wet and other awkward songs leaves me with the hip-hop blues. Sorry Snoop. Does it make it better that I liked your verse with Katy Perry?
