Punch Drunk Hub

Picture your worst hangover.

It’s Sunday afternoon and you’re sound asleep.

Your brain’s suddenly snapped from slumberland by the sound of incessant vibrations resonating from a nearby cellphone.

Groggily stumbling to the bathroom sink, you swill tap water across liquor-coated gums. Ohhh.

Looking up, the mirror reflects a dirty case of messy hair, blood-red eyes and pizza-sauce stained lips.

The worst comes next. Reaching into yesterday’s pants, you find a bar tab buried beneath a cloud of pocket lint. Guilt immediately sets in as the tab totals a couple hundred bucks.

It’s bad. You’re never drinking again.

But, what if you were looking at a seven-figure bar tab like our student government?

At last count, the Liberty Lounge’s facelift — dubbed The Hub — has reportedly cost the Students’ Association of Mount Royal University a total of $2.4-million. Construction costs ring in at $1.75-million, planning and inspection costs at $300,000 and furniture and kitchen equipment at $350,000.

The Students’ Association refused to shell out $20,000 to renovate its Canada Post location this summer. The same student administration also approved an 18 per cent increase in health and dental benefit fees for the 2011-12 academic year.

And, like all wild benders, this spending spree comes with plenty of regrets.

Let’s face it, the pseudo-Moxie’s decor doesn’t work in a campus pub setting. It’s always going to be a vomit pit for broke-ass students.

Plus, the obtuse-angled seating makes conversation nearly impossible in an often noisy setting.

On the topic of seating — despite expanding into the smoke pit and chopping the stage size — capacity has stayed the same at 220 patrons.

The sacrifice comes to ensure food service, which has now been delayed nearly a month and a half.

God willing, there will be goat-cheese dipped sausage sliders on every student’s plate by Oct. 24

Let’s hope the cheese wieners are easier to stomach then the $224.48 each student pays to the Students’ Association each semester.

Looking back, it was easy to get caught in the fervor surrounding MRU’s new watering hole. The party’s over and it’s time to face the bill.