Sex Column: Bongiorno porno
Porn and Pizza event both stimulating and enlightening
Vanessa Redux
Sex Columnist
Hello my pretties. Let’s all turn our attention to the wide and wild world of pornography. What’s that? You were already watching your favourite porno? Of course you were, you perv.
I was recently invited to participate in a discussion sponsored by MRU’s multi-faith chaplaincy on the topic of pornography. As I’m sure you can imagine, I am of the opinion that people who want to watch other people have sex — assuming it’s not horrifying in any way — should have a great old time feasting their eyes on anything from BDSM crotch binding to good old fashioned, amateur, scary-zit-on-the-butt porno.
If you've eaten this much pizza in one sitting, you should probably seek counselling. Photo: courtesy of Tony Segielski, iStock
The talk, Porn and Pizza, was an opinion-based chat addressing different perspectives on pornography and its many implications. Denise Hearn, a community outreach worker with the Calgary Pregnancy Care Centre, gave a talk about the pitfalls of consuming porn (wow, consumption just sounds wrong), and MRU student counsellor Mirjam Knapik and myself were invited to respond to Hearn’s opinions, after which we took questions from students. At one point someone mouthed “I heart you” in my direction, which was both endearing and slightly disturbing at the same time. Thanks person, you know who you are.
Hearn was staunchly opposed to porn in general and while I didn’t agree with most of what she had to say, I was pleasantly surprised to leave the forum feeling a little more enlightened by the students and speakers who were there. So, thanks all.
The most important topic, I felt, addressed was porn addiction. This topic has become a sort of buzz-affliction of late and it seems the medical community is a little split on this particular concept. Pornographic addiction isn’t in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. But, last August the American Society of Addictions Medicine defined addiction: “Addiction is a primary, chronic disease of brain reward, motivation, memory and related circuitry.”
Now, if you use your imagination I’m sure you can make the correlation between brain reward and the rest of things that occur while people get down with their single-serving-size bottle of Astroglide. However, this definition seems to be a clear indication that one can truly become addicted to, well, just about anything.
Case in point: the story I heard about the TV show “My Strange Addiction.” A woman allegedly ate 30 (ya, 30) couches, and two chairs. Apparently, chair is a delicacy in Tom’s house of nutty cuisine. Another poor woman was addicted to eating Comet. Not sure how she’s still alive. If you’ve ever seen The Fly, I kinda imagine her as Goldblum’s character when he’s halfway through transforming and all his teeth are falling out and he’s eating his barf.
I’m not sure where the pursuit of reward comes into these two particular cases, but my point is that everything in moderation seems to be a reasonable way to conduct one’s daily comings and goings (pun intended).
However, if you feel you may have been spending an inordinately large amount of time watching porn or doing just about anything and it’s interfering with your life, go down and visit Mirjam Knapik or one of her colleagues at Student Counseling Services. It’s free and totally confidential, and just so you know Knapik stayed very neutral during the whole discussion, so I’m pretty sure she won’t judge you.
How has this changed anything from last month…just more misogyny disguised as sex! I’d love if our school sex column could actually discuss sexual activity that doesn’t gain from the porn industry which swallows women whole for the benefit of porn consumers who feel sexually entitled to women 24/7 – because, as you have clarified in your last column, women are mere objects with holes!
I, and i’m sure hundreds of other students, would like to see a new sex columnist at the Reflector, one who takes care and concern about sexual health and creating a safe space to discuss sex and sexuality that is actually relevant to students – Maybe someone who doesn’t appear to identify with sadomasochistic misogyny?
Thanks for your comment. We truly do appreciate your feedback.
Please read our editorial: http://www.thereflector.ca/2012/02/16/lets-talk-it-out/ and email us at the thereflector@threflector.ca if you have any questions.
You can also read the letters to the editor here: http://www.thereflector.ca/2012/02/16/letters-to-the-editor-feb-16/
While I haven’t regularly followed The Reflector over my past four years at Mount Royal, I’ve recently become interested following the “controversial” content that was brought up to me by one of my fellow students. Ever the fan of scandals, I intensely read every single one of the letters striking out against last month’s sex-survey (which, while I could see offending some people, I didn’t feel was too over the top in comparison to some other sex surveys I’ve seen in the past like this little number from the UofA http://puritytest.gateway.ualberta.ca/)
While I can easily brush off the annoyances of the easily-offendable, in this case I need to make an exception. While I’m sure that there are many within the university’s hallways that found the sex survey offensive, I’m sure there are many, many more that found it hilarious (that might be going too far, but at least somewhat amusing). I am embarrassed by the fact that people are trying to enforce a tyranny of the minority. In fact, I’m pretty sure that the vast majority of the student body a) Doesn’t care about or read the reflector (too bad) or b) was not offended by the sex survey or this piece here. If you don’t like the sex column, don’t read it! If you disagree with the articles the reflector publishes, don’t pick it up! That should keep your proverbial knickers from twisting. Because I am far, far more concerned by your attempt at having the views, and one of the voices of the students silenced because they differ from your own. It might be cliche, but as Voltaire said, “I may disagree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.” If you’re looking to find a safe space to discuss sexuality and sex-life that you find appropriate, (which I’m sure would be dryer than the Sahara desert), why not approach the Reflector and offer your own services as another columnist. Get your own views out there, but to try to silence others because you disagree with them and find them offensive? That’s just embarrassing.
I would like a sex column – one that dealt with actual sex, not dehumanizing sexual exploitation that is NOT the same as SEX. Porn =/= sex, spitting and shitting on people =/= sex — i have spoken to MANY students AND professors alike who have said this column never actually discusses what it sets out to and usually just relies on sexism and misogyny as sad attempts at humor — the entire student body is still waiting for an apology for the sexual abuse apologist nonsense published in last month’s issue. I will demand this apology until it is given, I stand with the other students who are against sexualized violence against women being passed off as “sex advice”
Demand away, but you’re not going to get one. Besides, why make demands when we could sit down and have a rational conversation about it? I’d prefer that.
Please see our recent editorial for more:
http://www.thereflector.ca/2012/02/16/lets-talk-it-out
– Bryan W., Publishing Editor
Bryan,
Maybe women in particular do not feel safe to waltz down to an office to speak to male publishers about why there is something terribly problematic about what is posted in this column, month after month, much of which involves degrading women…why would we feel safe to discuss this to you, or the woman who is writing these things, after you just informed that I “will not get it”? So, should i just come down to hear you defend this column? Kind of kills the chance for dialogue right away when you, off the bat, say it will not happen anyway…
I am curious though, is the reflector not supposed to be a reflection of the larger student body? And yet, “Demand away, but you’re not going to get one”
The fact that, despite an out-pour of anger, the Reflector refuses to publicly apologize or even retract the article, i will be sure not to pick up a Reflector again; the Journal seems a bit more concerned with mature and responsible journalism, anyway, not to mention journalistic integrity.
We can meet anywhere you consider comfortable. But, to clarify, eight student-editors work in The Reflector‘s office: Four females and four males. The full-time managing editor is male.
Anyway, I’m not interested in blindly defending anything or listening to demands. However, a conversation would be great. I’m very open to hearing everyone’s viewpoints, including yours as one member of the larger student body.
The Journal is a great publication and you’re free to read it and whatever else you’d like. Just like we’re free to decide what gets published in The Reflector. Thanks for the feedback.
— Bryan W., PublishingEditor@thereflector.ca
I think this is a great topic for debate! I am the journalist from The Calgary Journal who interviewed who I can only assume to be the students participating in this discussion. I think there are a lot of great opposing views here, and we could have a fantastic formal discussion regarding the topics being brought up. I know the president has expressed an interest and willingness to help organize a debate about it on campus. I have a background in debate and would be more than happy to serve as a non-biased moderator so that we can bring this discussion into an academic setting and more forward with our views. If any parties are interested please let me know! Taryn Hajnrych, you can find me in the comm centre any day, all day.!
To the (extremely offended) 4th year student:
I feel you’re correct when you talk about the Reflector being a reflection of the student body. The entire student body. Not just the students holding your views. I can say with a fair amount of certainty that your views aren’t representative of the entire student body – I would wager not even close. So please stop asking for an apology for all the students, as there are probably just as many who disagree with your points as there are who do agree with them. Trying to hold the stance that every student agrees with you is not only ignorant; it’s quite disrespectful. It’s a shame that people only provide feedback when they are upset… If this weren’t the way of the world, I’m sure the Reflector would have far more positive feedback than negative.