Time well wasted

I researched this article by putting off writing it.

The semester is winding down, you have a hundred things to do, but let’s face it, you’re going to put it all off for hours, perhaps days. Is there really a way to productively procrastinate? Potentially. If you’ve ever looked back on the last several hours you were supposed to be writing a term paper and thought, “I didn’t research shit, but I was hanging out with my cat, Frank, so at least it wasn’t time wasted,” then congratulations, you are a productive procrastinator. Hope that’s comforting when you fail sociology.

Photo: ©iStockphoto.com/Patrick Herrera

1. Take a shift at work. If you’re going to put off studying, you might as well make some money. People tend to take work off as the end of the semester threatens to consume their soul, only to sit at their house browsing through reddit. If someone offers you a shift, admit you’re not doing anything at home and take it.

2. Have sex. Sex is great and it makes you feel great. No one has ever said, “Ah, why did I have all that sex? I have a presentation to plan for!” And for you forever-alones, rubbing one out is a great way to clear your head if you can’t concentrate. Plus, browsing porn is the default form of procrastinating.

3. Do less-important homework. If you’re in a major where you have a bunch of little assignments due as well as big ones, rather than just midterm, term paper, final, you can put off doing the daunting stuff, like the term paper, by doing the little stuff that’s only worth two per cent of your grade. It all adds up, right?

4. Feed the homeless. Nothing beats helping others, so put that procrastination to use by volunteering at your local homeless shelter and — yeah alright, we both know you’re not going to do this. It would be nice though. No? Alright, let’s move on.

5. Play video games. I’m not big into them, but I don’t think I’ve ever heard someone mention how they spent hours beating a level in a game to then go on to say, “What am I doing with my time? I’ve wasted my life.” Danger: getting too into a video game could cause you to legitimately fail the semester.

6. Power through a book or TV show. This goes hand-in-hand with video games. If there’s a book or TV show you’re getting really into, time spent watching or reading is definitely not time wasted. It’s something you look back fondly on as the first time you watched or read something that’s now a favourite. The fact that your school career suffered will not be a prominent memory.

7. Actually work out. A walk, really? Come on, get your ass to the gym and make putting off work worthwhile. If nothing else, you can do your laundry on your washboard abs.

8. Take a walk. You can get some exercise, appreciate nature, and do some mental reflection that perhaps you haven’t had time for in the hustle and bustle of the semester.

9. Take a nap. Everyone loves naps and they’re never a waste of time. Maybe you don’t have the luxury of actually going to bed yet, but hey, you can rest your eyes for half an hour. You’ll wake up feeling refreshed and ready to take on studying four months of notes. This definitely never backfires, leaving you more tired than you were before. Trust me.

10. Write articles for The Reflector. Oh my God, I have so much stuff due. Why did I offer to write this? I always put too much stuff on my plate and now it’s 1 a.m. on a Friday night and my vision is starting to blur. Oh God, oh God, oh God.