‘Getting Naked’ event not actually about sex
Harlen Cohen talks about dating by harassing students in Wyckham
Lynn Don
Sex Columnist
On Jan. 16, I went to an event called “Getting Naked with Harlan Cohen,” which was put on by the Students’ Association of Mount Royal University and took place in Wyckham House.
The event was described with the questions, “Did high school sex ed. classes leave you with more questions than answers? Do you find that ‘the talk’ you had with your parents all those years ago didn’t really prepare you for living in residence or being surrounded by a whole new set of friends who never saw you during that awkward braces-and-a-perm phase?”
This, along with the warning that the discussion would include adult content, led me to believe this was going to be an open talk about having sex in university.
If I had read a little further down the event to where the full name of his book was revealed; Getting Naked: Five Steps to Finding the Love of Your Life While Fully Clothed and Totally Sober, I would have realized sooner that this was not going to be the open, no-barriers discussion on sex that I’d been hoping for.
However, he did make a few good points. His main point was that university is the time to meet people, most of who are also looking to meet people, make friends and date.
His second point was that you shouldn’t fear rejection, because it’s a fact that not everyone you approach is going to be interested in you and you shouldn’t take it so harshly. This is easier said than done because being rejected is a shot to your ego, but it is something you need to be able to handle.
Just because someone isn’t into you doesn’t mean they are an asshole, nor does it mean you are an undesirable monster who no one will ever love. Just feel bad for a moment, shrug it off, and move on.
He illustrated these valuable points by accosting students eating their lunch in Wyckham and asking them about their love lives and then trying to set them up with other students. It was kind of funny the first time, but then he just kept doing it, over and over again. It got weird.
This man likes to yell at people about sex. But not actually discuss anything graphic. Like anal. Photo courtesy flickr.com/meeklund
This included stopping a man who was walking through Wyckham and asking him questions until he said, “I just want to go home, man.”
He also said several times to “be easy to approach but don’t be easy,” and that if you are “easy” you’ll end up dating an asshole. Being “easy” seemed to mean having sex too quickly upon meeting someone, but it was never fully explained.
Does that mean you should never hook up with someone? Don’t have sex with too many people or you’ll get a reputation?
I said in my previous column that you shouldn’t expect too much from a random hook up, and I stand by that. But I also don’t think you should drive yourself crazy trying to figure out when is the appropriate time to have sex with someone so you don’t look “easy.”
If someone is hanging out with you with purely the goal of sex in mind, following the three-date rule probably won’t make that person suddenly interested in having a relationship with you.
There was a Q&A portion at the end where students could write in or text in questions. Students seemed to share my misconception of what Getting Naked was about, as most of the questions asked were sexual in nature. Or they were trolling, I wasn’t sure.
Cohen seemed to be extremely uncomfortable as he stumbled through a question regarding anal sex, saying it was not lunch-time appropriate.
What bothered me most though was a question asked by someone regarding a “farting noise” coming out of her vagina when she has sex. Cohen responded by telling the person to talk to her doctor.
While it is important to have a doctor that you can trust to talk to about sex, what this person was referring to was queefing: an expulsion of air from the vagina. Although a little embarrassing and a bit of a mood killer, it is not a big deal and you don’t need to see a doctor to find out how you can stop queefing. Just laugh it off and go back at it.
I appreciate SAMRU bringing in speakers to talk about dating and sex, but a speaker who is a little less awkward when discussing sex would be preferable. Being so uncomfortable about the topic does not create an environment that will make students comfortable being open with their questions about sex.
