Rock out with your pinky out
Helpful tips to avoid being the worst person at a concert
Nathan Ross
Arts Editor
There are a lot of things that I hoped would have ceased to be things by 2013. Horrible commercials, the Dairy Queen in Wyckham House and America’s war on common sense fall into this category.
Unfortunately, there is a major problem going on that only seems to be getting worse, with no signs of slowing down. This is an issue that plagues people in different ways, so it is time to start being conscious about what’s really going here.
See all these wonderful people living in melodic harmony? It’d be wonderful if the audience at every show was this great, but not all bands have the charm of Charles Bradley. Photo: Nathan Ross
I am talking about concert etiquette, and the piss-poor attitude that most fans think is acceptable at a live show.
You know exactly what I’m talking about. People who make concerts the kind of experience where you want to go home and hide under the covers and only listen to a band in the comforts of solitude.
The following are a few tips and techniques you can think about when you’re at your next show to ensure you are not “that” guy or girl.
First off, shut up and listen.
If you’re going to stand right in the thick of things and talk about how your bro totally is getting his dick wet with this chick from work, you are not only taking up valuable space that is clearly hard to come by, but you are obnoxiously clashing with the music that is playing. No one paid to hear you talk about how great of a wingman you are.
Speaking of space, if you show up late to a show, accept it.
No one likes it when they show up for a band they love hours early to get a great space, only to have this group of people push right by, saying “they are going to meet their friend” or “they are the biggest fans ever” and “you should really be ashamed of yourself for being taller than me and thinking that it’s okay to even consider standing in front of me.” Fuck off.
Next, do us all a favour and put your phone away.
If you want to take a picture and post it on Instagram/Facebook/Twitter or text it to your ex to make them jealous, go for it. Recording the show is kind of a dick move. The people behind you don’t want to watch the show through your phone screen and have the rest of the night blocked by your arms.
The worst is people who are on their phone. This applies to the first point, but it is worse when you’re not even talking to someone at the show. If you need to find a friend, text them. They will likely still be able to find you.
Finally, and I thought that this one would go without saying but apparently not, don’t listen to something else.
If you are wearing headphones at a show, not only are you going to look insufferable, but if the band sees you, you’re going to hurt their feelings. “Hey Ben, why is that girl wearing headphones? Are we not good enough? Where did we go wrong? Man, where did we go wrong? I just can’t keep giving it my all after this.”
With the unfortunate reality that most bands are going to make most of their money at live shows, try your best to make the show worth everyone’s while.
I promise you, and everyone around you, will have a better time because of it.
