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‘Am I Normal?’ study debunks penis size rumours

Caitlin Clow
Sex Columnist

Contrary to popular belief, the average penis size is about five inches at full mast — so don’t believe him when he says he’s packing a solid seven.

There are three types of men in this world: men that claim they are packing a solid seven inches, men who greatly underestimate the magnitude of their penis and men who claim they’re growers, not showers. But many don’t know if they are well equipped in comparison to other dudes, so they may feel insecure.
To alleviate some of these insecurities, the British Journal of Urology International published a hard-hitting investigative report that compiled measurements of 15,521 males to try and answer the ultimate question: “Am I Normal?” (Which is also the title of the study).
What they found may make some sigh with relief. That typical “I’m seven inches,” is not the norm. These fancy English doctors found that the average size is 5.1 inches at full mast and only 3.5 inches flaccid.
This study blew up my social media feed for a few days and I realized that many of the men in my life actually care about the size of their junk. This concerned me a little. I understand that men have body image issues about size the same way girls worry about their cup size and bubble butt. However, when it comes down to it, it’s not about length.
Girth, on the other hand, is way more important. After all, not many women enjoy that “hotdog in a hallway” feeling. I asked a few girls in class which they preferred and 4 out of 5 girls said circumference is definitely more important than length, although it always comes down to the technique and effort of their bedmate.
Interestingly enough, the study showed the width of a member doesn’t change much when it transforms from floppy to fuckable. But, the size a soft wiener doesn’t reflect on the potentially monumental Godzilla-esque size when erect, giving the phrase “I’m a grower, not a shower,” some scientific standing.
The study also debunked any correlation between dick size and shoe size, or the length of a man’s index finger, or his height, or any other schoolyard rumour we’ve created to try to figure out penis sizes. You can’t judge from the outside, it’s what’s in the pants that counts.
As for the race card that men may play, the study found that “it is not possible from the present meta-analysis to draw any conclusions about any differences in penile size across different races.” So, there!
Honestly, it’s not about what you’re packing it’s about performance. You could be carrying a Kalashnikov, but if you don’t know how to use it, you may as well be packing a Nerf gun. It is all about technique, baby.
If you are feeling insecure about your size, you can always focus more on foreplay to ensure you both have a happy ending.
Realistically, if you have a girl (or a guy) in bed with you, they’re not going to stop when you reveal your one-eyed-snake.
As always play safe, wear a rubber. If you discover your wrap slipping off, or breaking often, you may want to change brands to find the right “fit.”
Remember that all condoms — like clothing — fit differently depending on the brand. Shop around and stock up.