How To Have a Great Threesome

Ah the elusive threesome. Sex with one person is great, so the more the merrier right? If done correctly, absolutely. Let’s go over the tips and tricks to having an amazing threesome.

First thing’s first, there is no wrong way to have a threesome unless someone is being forced to do something that they do not want to do.

The idea of multiple partners can be pretty nerve-racking. It’s hard enough to impress one partner, how am I going to perform for two?

Talk it Out

The most important part is communication. Before, during, and after. Don’t plan and choreograph the whole thing. Talk about all of your intentions and why you want to do it. Discuss what you are and are not comfortable with, your likes and dislikes. Also discuss specific things you want to try and set some boundaries like having a safe word. It can put your mind a little more at ease knowing you have a pause button at your disposal.

Voice Your Concerns

If you change your mind about something during, don’t be afraid to say something. You should be having sex with people you trust and are understanding enough to respect that your mind and your wants can change.

After, make sure you debrief with your partners about things you liked and things you might want to change for next time.

Doesn’t matter who you do it with as long as you have fun | Photo by Hanna Deeves

Adding a Third

Now let’s say you are in a long-term relationship and your partner brings up the idea of adding a third. Have a discussion about why they want a threesome and what it would mean for the relationship, you don’t want to fight or risk the relationship over wanting to try something new. Also will this be a one-time thing or something a little more consistent? Next, decide what you are okay with such as, gender preference, what you are okay with them doing to you, what you are okay doing to them and will it be a friend or a stranger?

If it is a stranger, are you picking them up from a bar or an app like Tinder or Plenty Of Fish or 3ndr which was created just for this purpose. Perhaps take them out for drinks first to see if the three of you have good chemistry.

Making a Guest Appearance

Now let’s assume you were approached to join a couple in bed. Let’s also assume that you are really stoked about this proposition but, make sure you know exactly what your role is. You might be the star; you might not be the star. The couple might want to spoil you, and focus the whole endeavour on your enjoyment. But they might want you to help spoil one of them.

Gathering a group is the low stress option, non-committal and open to many possibilities. Chances are you already have a few friends you wouldn’t mind hooking up with, or already have. If you ask around you can probably find two friends willing to give it a try.

Something important to remember is to make sure you start out with lots of foreplay. Make sure that everyone is really into it and ready to go before getting too wild. This time also allows for the three of you to get an idea of how everyone acts and reacts.

Once you start really getting into it, if all you’re doing is trading off, that’s not a real threesome. As hard as it can be to multi-task, it is worth trying. You are there for the group activity, make sure everyone is included equally. There are positions and formations that benefit everyone.

More Tips

Use protection, especially if you are fooling around with someone new. Also, it may seem like a total pain, but try to grab a new condom before engaging in penetration with a different partner. Not only does this provide a new clean protective barrier but with use, friction does have an impact on the structural integrity of the condom.

Go With the Flow

There is nothing to stress out about. It’s natural to feel a little nervous, but don’t let it get in the way. You are all there because you want to be. There is no need to be self-conscious, these people find you attractive enough to want to have sex with you, they aren’t noticing the flaws you think you have. A threesome doesn’t have to be a big deal unless you want it to be a big deal. It can be intimate for some, or purely recreational for others. You just have to decide for yourself what role it plays in your sexual life. Lastly, don’t be afraid to try new things, and just have fun!